Rock Lords Fanzine at TF Nation 2016

The most exciting highlight of the TF Nation 2016 convention was not the Rock Lord panel or Rock Lord display or Rock Lord movie showing (it wasn't even a Rock Lord convention!) but the free Rock Lords fanzine!

Narlirhino

You may feel that there was nothing left to say about Narlies after several near-identical reviews of these figures, which in themselves are near-identical. If you thought that then you are a fool! Narlies are as distinct as the various lifeforms on Quartex and should be treated with the respect they deserve - especially Narlirhino! Narlirhino is one of the rarer series 2 of Narlies and looks a bit like a rhino with two horns. If you thought that there was nothing else I could add then shake your head in shame and enter this informative article!

Rock Roller

Is Rock Roller a great Rock Lord or the greatest Rock Lord? On first glance he looks like one of the worst, just a big ball with arms and legs sticking out of the sides with barely any effort to give an interesting transformation. But like with all good things there is more than meets the eye!

Stone Hook

Stone Hook is one of the first series of Shock Rocks, larger Rock Lords with gimmicks. Rock Shot throws a rock, Rock Roller rolls along, and Stone Hook has... a stone hook. He's a big imposing figure with a large hooked arm that leaves you in no doubt what he's about!

Slimestone

Slimestone is silver,which isn't slimy and not really a stone, continuing in the proud naming traditions of Rock Lords. Like Nuggit, Slimestone is chromed although he's silver rather than gold. He may not have quite the allure that Nuggit does, but he's highly desired by collectors all the same.

Nuggit

Of all the Rock Lords people want to talk to me about, Nuggit is top of the list. Easily one of (if not the) most popular, he's instantly recognisable both by his unique robotic design and the fact he's entirely chromed. Just looking at him it's easy to see why people get so excited: despite being the smallest Rock Lord, he's got an awful lot going for him.

Bleu, l'Enfant de la Terre (Blue, Child of the Earth)

One of the biggest questions that people ask upon discovering Rock Lords was "did they make any other episodes apart from the movie?" The answer is, of course no. Apart from when they did. You may be familiar with the Japanese anime 'Machine Robo: Revenge of Cronos', which featured the Rock Lords and was even broadcast in France under the title 'La Revanche des Gobots' (Revenge of the Gobots), apparently dubbed as a direct continuation of the Hanna-Barbara Gobots show... somehow. When I was told about a French Rock Lords cartoon, I assumed it was this that was being referred to.

It was not.

Hold onto your hats, because your mind is about to be blown. The Rock Lords also appear in an official capacity in the 1986 French cartoon 'Bleu, l'Enfant de la Terre' (Blue, Child of the Earth).

Terra-Roc

I have a massive amount of nostalgia towards Terra-Roc. I never owned him, but I wished desperately that I did! As a child, I had Spike Stone and my friend had Terra-Roc. I felt completely inadequate with Spike Stone next to the green majesty that was Terra-Roc. Did I covert my friend's Rock Lord? Yes. Yes I did.

Blast Rock

Blast Rock is another of the final wave of Rock Lords to be released. Like his fellow heroic Shock Rock Stun Stone, Blast Rock is a ball with a head. It's not even clear if he has arms. Is Blast Rock's life constant pain, or is he truly the greatest of Rock Lords?

Sunstone

The Jewel Lords are some of the hardest to find Rock Lords, and also widely thought to be some of the best. Sunstone is no exception to this - like his fellow Jewel Lords Solitaire and Flamestone he is cast in transparent plastic, making this figure really stand out amongst the other Rock Lords. In some ways he is the least exciting of the three Jewel Lords, as he lacks the fame of Solitaire and the stand-out colour scheme of Flamestone, but he does have several unique features all of his own.

Saberstone

Girl characters in toylines are often either stereotypically pink girly-girls or all boobs and ass. Saberstone... well, she's pink but she's more of a 'flayed flesh' pink than a shade that reminds you of delightful ponies.  Instead of sweet feminine liens she has a terrifying monster face and whips for hands. Rock Lords once more blazes the way in smashing down social norms!

Stun Stone

The second wave of Shock Rocks were even more exciting than the first, if indeed that was possible! Instead of being Rock-shaped things that turned into rock people with special action features, they were little balls that a head and arms popped out of! They are among some of the hardest to find Rock Lords (especially in working condition) and at the same time, some of the strangest. And yes, 'strangest' is a bold claim to make in the world of Rock Lords!

Spike Stone

Spike Stone excites me like no other Rock Lord does. Not for any of his innate charms, but for the sheer nostalgia factor in that he was the first Rock Lord I ever owned as a child. He's also a complete brute! The Rockasaurs were two larger Rock Lords (they came in boxes!) that were based on dinosaurs rather than people. It's a great idea (and makes more sense than the Narlies as the animal life of Quartex) and a pity they never made more of these!

Rock Shot

Rock Shot is one of the Shock Rocks, a range of Rock Lords that were slightly larger and more expensive than the regular range due to the gimmicks involved. Despite being more obscure and rarer than the normal Rock Lords, Rock Shot seems to have become a poster child for the Rock Lord line in recent years. He pops up a lot as a depiction of a typical Rock Lord on various sites, and you'd be forgiven for thinking he was Boulder and Magmar's best friend. Why is this? Is he really that amazing?

Fossilsaurus

If there is ever a crown jewel in a Rock Lords collection, it is surely Fossilsaurus. Due to be released in the US, it was eventually only released in Japan and parts of Europe towards the tail end of the line, and extremely hard to get hold of. Added to this is the fact that it's a flipping Rock Lords combiner, which most people's minds would just refuse to believe exist! If you didn't have a burning need for a big rock dinosaur before you read this, I guarantee you'll have one afterwards!

Tailbone

Tailbone is the fourth of the Fossil Lords, but by no means the least, for is not the tail the most important part of the animal? It will come as no surprise to learn that he forms the tail of the combined mode, but the figure itself holds some surprises - one of which I learned while writing this very article!

Narlie/Narly/Narli - Which is the correct spelling?

In the magical future internet web 2.0 world of the 21st century, it seems that all human knowledge is finally at our fingertips. We are only one click away from learning all about the most ancient of cultures, the most arcane of texts and the most obscure of facts. However, the correct spelling of 'Narlie' is not amongst these. The Transformers Wiki, usually the bastion of sanity, has been bouncing between 'Narli' and 'Narly', eventually embarking on the enterprising solution of editing the fan club Facebook page to read 'Narly' due to the text on some of the cards (creating a bit of a circular evidence loop!).

This is odd, as I'd always thought the singular of 'Narlies' was 'Narlie'. Who is right? There is actually compelling evidence for each spelling, and in this article I will lay out the argument for each and let you, the people decide (but the answer is 'Narlie').

Narlibaboon

Everyone with a soul gets excited about Narlies, and there is nothing more exciting than series 2 Narlies. Narlibaboon is based on a baboon, and Tonka pulled out all the stops in giving the consumer an authentic baboon experience. What do I mean? Read on, dear friend!

Hipbone

Hipbone was the Fossil Lord who didn't skip leg day! This huge guy is all about the legs, which is lucky for him as there's not really much else he has going for him! That said, he's still a Fossil Lord, where the sum is greater than the parts! He's not something you see every day though, and has enough interesting points about him.

Flamestone

The Jewel Lords are some of the most sought after Rock Lords, both for their scarcity and their designs, and out of the three existing ones it is Flamestone who stands out the most. True, unlike Solitaire he doesn't have the added bonus of having appeared on television and being a female in a male-dominated line, but what he does have is... well, just look at him!

Narlilion

The first wave of Narlies - Narlihog, Narliphant, Narlizard and Narligator are quite common to find. Far, far rarer are the second wave, consisting of Narlilion, Narlibaboon, Narlirhino and Narlibat. Extremely hard to find, in fact. Ridiculously hard to find. This is the pain of collecting Narlies - half of them are tricky to get hold off, and at the same time, they're flipping Narlies!

Crackpot

Sometimes you wake up in the morning and your face looks like an arse. Other times you are Crackpot. Crackpot joins the list of Rock Lords with astonishingly baffling faces: no matter what else, Crackpot is the guy with a head made from a hot cross bun. Yes, there's more to him than his face but that is what will be haunting you at night.

Ribcage

Everyone loves the Fossil Lords - or at least they would if they knew they existed! You can probably guess which part of the combiner Ribcage forms (here's a hint - it isn't his foot!) but what else does Ribcage have to offer besides becoming a torso?

Rock Lords Plan-O-Gram

Sometimes something comes along that makes my mind explode (and not the man from Scanners!). This is one of them. Plan-o-grams were used by companies to correctly stack displays, ensuring consistency and the best position for the product. This is a plan-o-gram discovered by the owner of the site 'Random Toy Reviews' who has given me permission to show it here (but go visit his site!)

Rock Lords in other media: Noah

Russell Crowe's 2014 movie 'Noah' was the story of Noah's Ark, an adaption of the classic Biblical tale of one man and his boat, one that is treasured by billions over the world. In adapting the film, the movie makers kept this to heart, respectfully sticking close to the source text. However there were some surprises: namely the inclusion of Rock Lords. But how much like 'Rock Lords' is 'Noah'? Is there enough Rock Lord content for the discerning Rock Lords fan?

Narliphant

If there is one Narlie that the novice Rock Lord collector will want, it is Narliphant. Not for the delightful lilac and purple hues, but because of his (her? its?) starring role in the movie 'Gobots: Battle of the Rock Lords' where it played the part of Scooter's love interest. It is Narli-phant that must hoist all of Narlie culture onto his/her/its shoulders and fly the flag for Narli-kind!

Jawbone

Rock Lords come in all shapes and sizes, but the ones that garner the most excitement are the ones that are weird. And let's be honest - they turn into rocks, they're all weird! Jawbone and his fellow Fossil Lords are weirder than most though - they are the Rock Lords combiner team! Not a lot of people know that there was a Rock Lords combiner - it was released late in the run, and only in Japan and parts of Europe in limited quantities. While the set was released in Europe as 'Fossilsaurus' it was released in Japan as 'Majin Robo Gattai Saurus' which roughly translates as 'Devil Robot Combining Dinosaur'. Which is hilarious.

Brimstone

Brimstone has one of the most unique designs of all Rock Lords (apart from those circular Shock Rocks). Not for Brimstone the indignity of a head upon his shoulders, instead he is like a childish doodle - a face with arms and legs. But what a face with arms!

Narlihog

Sit down kids, we're talking about Narlies! Narlies are... uh... Narlies! You see, on the planet of the Rock Lords, everything is made out of Rock. Also there are furry Narlies which clearly aren't rocks in any shape or form. They look like animals and have fur and no rocky parts whatsoever.

Solitaire

Out of all the Rock Lords (excluding rare foreign variants), Solitaire is easily the most desirable. This is for several reasons: she's one of the main characters in the Rock Lord movie, she's a female character, she was released in the harder-to-find Jewel Lords series, and... well, just look at her!

Prototypes - Stonehead Playsets

Stonehead was a big part of the Rock Lords theme. This fortress featured heavily in the movie, packaging artwork and minicomic that came with the toys. It never received any sort of toy however. In the eighties, it seemed that every toyline got a big playset, and at the design stage, Rock Lords was no exception. It seems that the heavy focus on Stonehead was indeed meant to increase interest in the Stonehead playset; only it was never released.

Magmar

Magmar is the Megatron to Boulder's Optimus Prime, the leader of the evil Rock Lords. There were no faction names in Rock Lords, simply the purity of 'good' and 'evil' being enough to show the bold clash of ethos between the two sides. Magmar also has a bitchin' green mohawk.

Pulver-Eyes

Pulver-Eyes is a horrible monster.

I mean yes, he looks like a horrible monster, but in the cartoon he is constantly eating rocks, which is tantamount to cannibalism. He looks like a monster and so he is a monster.

Marbles

Marbles. Yes. Wow. Gosh.

I know Marbles has his fans. He's one of the Rock Lords that people seem to remember, perhaps due to how striking he looks. Striking in that he's got a head that looks incredibly rude.

Tombstone

Tombstone is one of those figures that restores your faith in Rock Lords, if indeed you were fool enough to lose faith in the first place. Pretty much everything about him seems to work, he's got a solid concept and his rock mode doesn't look like he's covering his head with his arms and legs. Does he have faults? Well, yes, but they're more than mitigated.

Granite

If Boulder is the least Rock Lord-like Rock Lord, then Granite is the quintessential Rock Lord. Everything about him screams “I am a Lord of Rock.” He’s craggy and bulky with a big rocky head. There’s a few splashes of colour on his face and blue die-cast thighs, but aside from that he’s a massive hunk of rock. Rockety-rocky rock.

Boulder

Boulder is the heroic leader of the good Rock Lords, their Optimus Prime, as it were. His track record isn’t quite as good as Optimus Prime (having to run to the Gobots for help the moment things got bad) but he’s still relatively iconic for the line.

This is odd, as he’s one of the least Rock Lord-looking Rock Lords made in terms of design.

Welcome to the Rock Lords blog!

Why Rock Lords?

I don't know. Maybe I fell down one day and hit my head really hard? Maybe I was cursed by an evil wizard? Maybe I just like Rock Lords?

This blog is all about Rock Lords, those irrepressible Lords of Rock who leapt onto our screens in 1986 in the blockbuster movie 'Gobots: Battle of the Rock Lords'. Back in the 80s, it seemed that everyone had decided Rock Lords were going to be the next big thing. There were lots of copycat 'character turns into rock' toys, from the He-Man Rock Warriors to those Bandai Egg Monster things. And then they just went away!

As a child I only had one Rock Lord (the purple monster Spike Stone) but thought he was awesome! The mini-comic he came was exciting, and of course there was the movie! I always wanted more, but as the shops selfishly didn't sell them, it wasn't possible to amass a collection so I went and got all of the Supernaturals instead.

Over the years I forgot about my thwarted desire until watching Steven Universe. For those not in the loop, this is a modern TV show about characters with gem-themed names... and then it turns out that they are literally rocks from space who turn into people! My Rock Lord flame was lit anew and I decided to collect them.

This blog will mainly feature photo galleries of my collection, as well as various Rock Lord facts and other vaguely related items. Please contact me if there is anything you want me to feature, or have any ideas or things to add! I'd love to hear from you!

Rock on, Rocketeers!!